


I am the captain of my soul

by stardust009



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1424332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust009/pseuds/stardust009
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Treville and Aramis spend some time bonding over wine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am the captain of my soul

**Author's Note:**

> I’m working on a longer story but I've also been re-watching the series now I have it on DVD and it’s amazing how you have a different perspective on so many things when you see it all again. I felt the urge to write this after I watched the The Good Solider because what happened between Aramis and Treville was a little heartbreaking, although the story is set after episode 10.
> 
> Title of the story is from Invictus by William Ernest Henley

“Because I am in love,” was the announcement that Athos heard as he walked over to the others. They were words that he wasn't unused to hearing from Aramis’ mouth but this was the first time he had heard them since he’d found Aramis with the Queen and the truth was he felt quite relieved to be hearing them again. He went over and stood next to Porthos.

“Who are you in love with this week?” Porthos asked, not entirely sure if he wanted details of Aramis’ love life but knowing where he was tended to be quite useful.

“A gentleman never tells,” Aramis said with a smile, looking over at Athos as he joined them.

D’Artagnan turned to Athos also. “It seems Aramis won’t be joining us again tonight because he has another new lady friend.”

Athos nodded. He wasn’t bothered who went to the tavern as long as he could go and, if Aramis had fallen in love with another woman already, even better. They all said goodbye to Aramis, wished him luck with his new romance and headed off leaving Aramis to stand there alone. He waited until they had gone around the corner and then he let out a long sigh. Instead of walking out of the garrison, he turned and headed to his quarters. He knew that they’d be gone long enough not to even realise that he hadn’t left. Entering his room he hung up his hat and coat before going over to sit down on the bed to remove his boots. Leaning forward the cross which the Queen had given him fell out from his shirt. It swung around until he sat up and placed his hand on it, pushing it against his chest. His chest started to feel constricted thinking about her. He thought about how smooth her skin felt under his fingers, how warm her body was beneath his own and how gentle her lips were. Closing his eyes he could almost smell her scent and picture her smile. He clutched at the cross as he curled up alone on the bed.

The next night Aramis once again didn't feel like going out so he continued to use the excuse of his fake relationship in order to cover for the reality of the fact he just wanted to be sad and alone. As soon as they had all gone he sulked off towards his room but that evening he didn’t manage to avoid everyone because he came across Treville on the balcony.

“Early night?” Treville asked, obviously a little curious.

“Something like that,” Aramis said with a smile and moved to walk past Treville but he was stopped by Treville’s voice.

“Fancy a drink? I have some good wine in my office.”

Aramis stopped for a moment. He really wanted to be alone but the Captain had never made such an offer before and Aramis wasn’t sure if he ever would again. He nodded and they both went into the office. Treville offered Aramis a chair and went to his cabinet which, as Aramis was about to find out, wasn’t just for papers. He took out the hidden bottle of wine and poured it out into two glasses.

“What’s the occasion?” Aramis asked. The wine looked expensive and he wasn’t quite sure why Treville would waste it on one of his Musketeers.

“This wine is from Languedoc. I was once in love with a woman from that region.”

Aramis looked surprised which made Treville chuckle.

“I am the Captain of the Muskteers, Aramis, not a monk.” Aramis looked a little embarrassed so he sniffed the wine and then took a sip.

“I apologise,” Aramis said, licking his lips at the taste. “The wine is wonderful. I can taste the warm sunshine from the vineyard. Thank you.”

Treville nodded and then sat down himself at his desk.

“You’re not joining them at the tavern again?” Treville asked, looking over his wine glass at Aramis. Aramis looked confused for a moment, wondering how Treville knew about his drinking habits.

“No, I...didn’t feel like it,” Aramis said, not really wanting to say much more.

Treville went quiet for a moment, looking at the young man sitting in front of him. His relationship with Aramis had always been slightly more turbulent, perhaps, than with the others. Athos was a lot like Treville, so he could understand Athos. Porthos was the most loyal man in the regiment, so he knew where he stood with Porthos. d’Artagnan wore his heart on his sleeve, so he knew where he was with d’Artagnan . Aramis, however, had always been more of a mystery.

“She used to sell flowers in the market. She had come to Paris from Languedoc searching for a new life and she was beautiful. Her black hair flowed down her back and her eyes were the colour of rich chocolate. I would go and buy flowers from her so often that she assumed I was courting another lady. I was too shy to tell her that I was not, I was buying flowers from her so that I could speak to her. It took me months to build up the courage to tell her.”

Treville paused, Aramis was curious, seeing a side to Treville that he had never seen before felt like a privilege. “What happened when you did?” Aramis asked.

“She blushed,” Treville smiled, obviously at the memory. “We had quite a few shy evenings together where I fell more and more in love with her. She was strong, feisty and stubborn and yet unbelievably patient with me. She had the ability to drink me under the table and showed me the delights of Spanish food. She had the sweetest laugh and the most incredible singing voice. I was utterly convinced that I would marry her, leave my life as a solider for her and spend the rest of my entire life with her.”

Treville stopped again. Aramis knew that something painful must be coming because Treville was clearly not married and was obviously still a soldier. This time he didn’t say anything, he just waited.

“As I was building up the courage to ask her for her hand in marriage, she became ill. We both thought that she would get better in time but, instead, she got worse. She grew weaker week by week. I tried to get her medicine with what little money I had. We tried everything but she just started fading. She stopped eating and eventually she could barely even stand. I had to watch helplessly as she slowly wasted away until, one cold night, she died in my arms, just as beautiful as she ever was.”

Aramis had a lump in his throat. The way Treville described the woman made him think of Anne and yet he also didn’t feel worthy to think of his love in the same category as Treville’s. Aramis had fallen for a married woman, the Queen of France no less. It was selfish, stupid and yet felt completely out of his control. Treville was alone because the lady in his life was taken away from him.

“I assume you have had your heart broken which is why you have been spending your nights alone?” Treville asked. Aramis nodded.

“Yes but she is lost to me in another way,” Aramis said. “I cannot be with her for complicated reasons.”

Treville didn’t ask any further questions. “Then our circumstances might be different, Aramis, but no less tragic. I mourn for a woman who was lost, you mourn for a woman you cannot have but you are not alone. If I could give you one piece of advice it is this, you have good friends. Don’t push them away. If I could give you another piece of advice it would be to drink that wine because it’s bloody expensive and I don’t just share it with anyone.” He started smiling slowly. Aramis chuckled and had another sip.

From that night on Aramis made more of an effort to spend time with the others. Once in a while he sat with Porthos and d’Artagnan and marveled at how d’Artagnan still hadn’t realised that Porthos cheated at every card game. Every now and then Athos even allowed Aramis to sit with him and there they drank to forget their heartbreak together. However, every Tuesday, Aramis wouldn’t be with the rest of them. Captain Treville and Aramis would take it in turns buying a bottle of wine.

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate any comments


End file.
